


A Peculiar Turn of Events

by IvoryRaven



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Babies, Crack, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter is a Horcrux, Horcruxes, Implied Slash, Kid Fic, M/M, Pre-Slash, Ron doesn't know what a Hoover is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28098693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvoryRaven/pseuds/IvoryRaven
Summary: When the Horcruxes are destroyed, they turn into babies.Very, very clingy babies.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Comments: 18
Kudos: 314





	1. Horcrux

**Author's Note:**

> From a discord prompt that I couldn't resist!

The simplest spells, Harry discovered, were often the most powerful. He discovered this fact by Accio-ing Nagini. It was a pleasant surprise when it worked.

Hermione thought he was a right idiot. “Petrificus Totalus!” she shouted, then whirled on Harry. “What were you thinking? What a stupid idea! The snake is venomous, you fool!”

“It worked,” said Ron.

“I know it worked! I’d noticed, thanks! But it would have been a fine thing for V- for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named if you had Accio’d his snake and it had killed you!” Hermione spat.

Harry swallowed. “Well, I suppose we’d better kill it, then.” He reached for the Sword of Gryffindor, which he’d taken to keeping near his person. 

Hermione held up a hand. “Wait a sec,” she said. “We brought the other Horcruxes here, let’s take them to the Chamber and do it properly. Who knows what could happen if we tried to destroy them out in the open.”

Reluctantly, Harry agreed. Ron frowned, but picked up the petrified snake as though it were an extremely dangerous stick, and held it as far away from himself as he could possibly get it.

The trio headed down to the Chamber, Harry and Hermione carrying the locket, cup, diadem and Sword of Gryffindor between them, and Ron with the snake. Harry opened the Chamber with a hiss, and the three slid down into the dusty darkness.

Hermione arranged all the Horcruxes on the ground. Harry was surprised to see that the ring and diary were among them - he was certain they had already been destroyed. Shaking off his surprise, he raised the sword and slammed it down on the locket.

There was a low hiss and a roar, followed by a higher hiss and some smoke, and then Harry turned his sword on the cup, then the diadem, then the snake - and the ring and diary for good measure. It was best, he thought, to make sure they’d been dealt with.

He spun around just as the smoke was clearing. “Well then,” he said. “There we go.”

Ron and Hermione were staring behind him. Hermione opened and closed her mouth in silence, her brown eyes wider than Harry had ever seen before.

“Mate… you might want to turn around…” Ron whispered hoarsely.

Harry did.

And promptly blinked to make sure what he was seeing was real.

Six babies. Six babies with silky black hair and shining red eyes.Six babies that were unmistakably young Voldemorts.

“Guys?” Harry said. “This is… um…”

“Unexpected,” Hermione muttered.

One of the babies crawled over to Harry and tugged on his trouser leg. “Mama!” cried the baby. “Mama!” It waved stubby arms at Harry.

Harry stared at it. “I’m not your mama,” he said, somewhat sharply. This baby - no matter how cute - was Voldemort. He couldn’t let himself forget that.

Tears welled up in the baby’s red eyes. Harry backtracked, caving to the sad look on the baby’s face. “Fine,” he huffed, and picked it up.

Baby-Mort cooed. “Mama!”

And that set the other five off! “Mama! Mama! Mama!” they babbled, crawling to Harry as the first one had. 

Harry sighed. “We can’t just leave them here,” he said.

Ron frowned. “They’re probably trying to manipulate you.”

“Ron’s right,” Hermione agreed.

Harry looked at the six babies and their earnest red eyes. “I can’t leave them here. They’re babies. Look, they’re crawling. What harm could they do?”

“A lot,” muttered Ron, but shrugged. 

Hermione let out a long sigh. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” she said.

“They’re babies,” Harry said again, and picked another one up. “Help me carry them.”

Ron picked up two of the remaining babies, leaving another set for Hermione. “Well? You heard him.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” said Hermione, but, frowning at Ron and Harry, picked up the two babies and set one on each hip.

They clambered out of the Chamber, which proved to be quite a bit more difficult with the Baby-Morts. By the time they reached the Gryffindor common room - because as Ron pointed out, they couldn’t leave the babies in the Great Hall - the triad were huffing and puffing.

“They are heavy, aren’t they?” commented Ron.

Harry was looking around the common room. “Sleeping bags?” he asked, pointing out the multicolored sleeping bags covering the floor. And for that matter, all the students in whispering clusters at the edges of the room.

Dean Thomas spoke up. “We’re all staying down here,” he said. “War and everything, we decided we’d feel safer together. Uh, First Years are in the middle… um, Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Those are… babies?”

(“They’re naked babies!” cackled a First Year.) 

“Oh, yes, these,” Hermione said. “Er - Harry - you’d better explain.” She looked at him with urgency in her eyes. “Not everything,” she whispered.

“I’m… in charge of them for a bit,” Harry said. “They might not be here for long.”

Dean fidgeted. “Well… that’s great, but… I’m not sure it’s a good idea to have them in the room with the rest of us? Babies cry, don’t they?”

“They do,” said a young Gryffindor, a boy who looked about fourteen. “I have loads of siblings-”

Ron nodded knowingly.

“All younger-”

Ron stopped nodding.

“And they cry a lot. Especially in the night. Well, it seems like especially in the night,” he amended, “because they keep everyone up wailing.”

There was a sinking feeling in Harry’s chest. Crying in the night? Keeping him up? He hoped the Baby-Morts didn’t.

“I’ll, uh - I’ll use a dorm then,” Harry said, “and keep them in there.”

“You can’t lock them in a room, Harry,” said Hermione. “I know that much. You need to entertain them.”

This was starting to sound like it was a lot more complicated than just keeping an eye on the Baby-Morts and bringing them some food every so often. Harry had never had a pet, but he assumed a baby, once it could crawl, wasn’t all that different.

Was it?

“Er, bring them up, please, guys,” said Harry. “Say Ron - you don’t mind - if we could use our dorm? That is - Dean, everyone else is down here, right?”

“Yeah, Harry,” Dean said.

“Sure,” said Ron.

“Great.” Harry led the way up the stairs. 

Once they’d arrived in the Seventh Year boys’ dorm - Hermione scoffed at the way she was allowed up the stairs with no problem (“What about gay wizards?”) - Harry was relieved to be able to sit the Baby-Morts down on his bed. Hermione and Ron put the other four Baby-Morts beside them. 

“Mama!” cried a Baby-Mort, setting off a chant of “Mama! Mama! Mama!” from the others.

“I’m not going to pick you up,” Harry told them. There was no way. His arms ached after carrying two of them up to Gryffindor Tower.

Three Baby-Morts started wailing, and the other three weren’t far behind. Harry thought it couldn’t get any worse when he spotted liquid seeping out from under one of them.

He made a disgusted noise. “That’s my bed!”

Hermione scrunched her nose at the pooling wee, of which there was a surprising amount getting on the Baby-Mort who had produced it, and the two either side of it.

It was Ron who stepped forward. He rolled the Baby-Morts further down Harry’s bed. “Scourgify!” he cast. “Right - Hermione, you’re good at magic, we need nappies.”

Hermione blinked. “There’s a spell for that?”

Ron looked at her like she’d grown a unicorn horn. “Of course there is. How else would we get them quickly? It’s - um - Pannus Bibbulum. The wand movement - oh, Merlin, I don’t remember!”

“Well I don’t know it!” exclaimed Hermione. She and Ron turned to look at Harry.

“Where would I have learnt it from?” Harry said. “Quick - before they do it again, someone do something!”

“We could use - I hate to say this Harry - but bits of bedsheet?” Hermione suggested

“Absolutely not!” snapped Harry.

“Well I can’t conjure them, can I!” shouted Hermione.

“Then summon them!” Ron screamed. “Why are we all shouting anyway?”

“I should have realized,” groaned Hermione. “It worked with Nagini, didn’t it?”

“Accio nappies,” Harry said quickly.

Hermione’s eyes widened. “You’re not having nappies fly out of a muggle shop, are you?”

“I dunno, where would nappies be?” Harry asked.

All over Britain, bins started to shake. Their contents rustled. Their lids flew open. An unconventional cloud gathered in the sky and moved towards Hogwarts in one great mass.

Back at Hogwarts, Ron asked, “are you sure the spell worked?”

“I suppose I could try again,” said Harry, readying his wand and opening his mouth.

With a mighty woomph! a massive pile of dirty nappies descended upon him. 

Harry stood frozen in shock. Hermione grabbed Ron’s hand and dragged him out of the pile, casting Scourgify on them both. The Baby-Morts began giggling.

It was their noise that snapped Harry out of it. Then he started spitting. Luckily, it was the clean part of the nappy that had ended up in his mouth, but it had still been in a bin, for Merlin’s sake! 

Harry thrashed around, kicking and throwing nappies everywhere. Once they were spread out down to his knees, he squelched, disgusted, to the toilet. He swished out his mouth in the bathroom sink again and again

“Harry!” called Ron after about five minutes of this. “Come help Vanish the mess!”

Harry spat down the drain for the last time. When he was back in the room, he was relieved to see Ron and Hermione aiming their wands at nappies and Vanishing them. Getting out his wand, he joined them.

“This is so much faster than Hoovering,” Hermione commented.

“You’re right,” Harry commented. “Huh. When I’m an adult I’ll never have to buy a Hoover.”

“What’s a Hoover?” asked Ron.

As Hermione explained Hoovers to Ron, Harry Vanished the last nappy. 

The babies were still naked and on his bed.

“Accio clean nappies,” he said, hoping that worked. If it didn’t - if it didn’t - he didn’t know what he would do. 

Luckily, this time, a clean packet of nappies arrived. It wasn’t very big, the label said it contained twelve nappies, but they were clean and it would do. 

He tore into the plastic, getting out a handful of soft white disposable nappies. Tossing most on the bed, he inspected one. It had plasticky tabs with a gluey thing on one side. He opened it up and set it down.

The nappy snapped shut.

He spread it out again, pressing down to try and keep it flat.

It closed, again.

“A little help here?” he asked.

Hermione came over and held down the nappy while Harry collected a Baby-Mort. The one he picked was chewing on a spare nappy. When he reached it, the baby looked up like it knew exactly what it was doing. 

He laid it down, with its bum over the nappy, and he and Hermione smooshed sticky ends onto non-sticky surface until it seemed like it would stay in roughly the right place. Harry breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad that’s over.”

Hermione cleared her throat. “There are five others… Ron, don’t just stand there, come and help us!”

Ron came over, and pinned another baby to the bed. “Hand me a nappy, will you?”

Harry did. Ron, to Harry’s amazement, managed to put the nappy on the baby by himself.

“Right,” said Ron, getting another nappy, “two down, four to go.”

Harry and Hermione managed one other baby before Hermione said “I think I’ve got the hang of this, let me try on my own.” 

Harry knelt to pick up a nappy where it had been dropped on the floor.

“Mama!” A Baby-Mort crawled off the bed onto Harry’s back.

Harry sighed and gently tipped it off onto the carpeted floor, then picked it up. “You can’t climb on me like that!” he said, exasperated. He put the Baby-Mort onto the bed and managed to wrangle a nappy onto it. 

He was glad to see Hermione and Ron had finished with the other babies, and every child had a layer between its leaky end and his bed.

Something was still missing. “They look cold,” he said. “They need clothes.”

“There’s a shop in Hogsmeade with baby clothes, I’ve seen them,” said Ron.

“But the war,” pointed out Hermione. “Hogsmeade’s abandoned.”

Ron nodded. “That’s why we can just go there and take what we need.”

“Ron! That’s stealing!”

The tall redhead shrugged. “There’s a war on, nobody will mind even if they notice.”

“We can’t steal! Tell him, Harry - we can’t steal things!” Hermione insisted.

Harry looked down at his feet. “Ron has a point. And we do need it. We can always pay them back later.”

That placated Hermione somewhat. “If there is no other choice.”

“There isn’t,” said Ron. “We should take the tunnel. You and I - Harry, can we borrow your cloak? I don’t think you should leave.”

As much as Harry wanted to go with his friends, they were right. The babies were his responsibility and he couldn’t leave them alone. “Okay.” He dug under his bed, passing the cloak to Hermione. “Don’t get caught.”

“Harry!” Hermione exclaimed, but followed Ron when he left the room.

A baby was crawling dangerously close to the edge of the bed, saying “mama” as it moved. Harry climbed on to the bed, and all six babies crawled toward him. They clambered around him, leaning into him and sitting on his lap, each one snuggling close.

Harry hummed. One of the babies was leaning against his chest, tilting its neck to rest its silky-haired head on his shoulder.

A blemish on the baby’s skin, just behind its ear, caught his eye. Upon closer inspection, it was a birthmark - or what looked like a birthmark - in the shape of a book.

Harry peered at one of the other babies. This one, too, had a mark behind the ear - but this mark was in the shape of a locket.

Harry caught his breath. So each baby seemed to be from a specific Horcrux, and had the marking to show which Horcrux it had been.

The diary baby whimpered as Harry’s movement dislodged his head. “Hey,” Harry murmured, “it’s okay.”

Diary closed his eyes, letting out a content noise when Harry adjusted his position to hold him more comfortably. 

Harry must have dozed off, too, because the next thing he knew Ron was shaking his shoulder. “We have clothes for them,” he said.

Hermione held six onesies suspended in the air with her wand. “Awesome!” said Harry. They were all different, which would help tell the babies apart.

He dressed Diary in brown, Ring in black and gold, Diadem in blue, Snake in green, Locket in gold, and Cup in pale yellow. Now they were easy to tell apart.

Although they were still crawling to Harry and clinging on to any limb they could reach.

“There’s dinner, by the way,” Ron said. “In the Great Hall.” It was evident by his twitching that he was keen to go.

“Let’s get some, then,” said Harry, trying to walk, only to discover Locket, Ring, and Snake clinging to his legs. Diadem was grasping his hand and Diary and Cup were sitting just in front of him.

Harry sighed. “You go ahead,” he said. The clingy babies were already driving him mad.

But he couldn’t just abandon them.

After all, he had destroyed the Horcruxes and somehow made these babies appear.

Although, he thought, he wasn’t the only one responsible… the other person responsible for their existence was gathering an army just outside the school’s boundary.

Fifteen minutes later found Harry slipping under the invisibility cloak Ron and Hermione had given back when they’d returned from Hogsmeade. Diadem was somehow balancing on his head, wrapping his little legs and arms over Harry’s chin. Snake and Locket were riding on his shoulders, one on each side, their four arms passing over his forehead and around the back of his head, pleased as parrots on a pirate on a pirate ship. Cup was perched on Harry’s foot, clutching Harry’s leg as tightly as he could. Harry was holding Diary and Ring in his arms.

Harry left the Gryffindor dorms, and began the arduous journey down the stairs, careful not to hurt Cup or knock him off his precarious position.

Harry was almost at the main doors leading outside of Hogwarts when Voldemort spoke.

The Dark Lord had clearly amplified his voice, projecting it inside the castle.

“Bring Harry Potter to me… in the Forbidden Forest…” he said. It sounded like he was whispering but it was so, so loud. “Or I will kill ten of your students… every hour…”

If Harry had had any doubt in his mind, that would have eradicated it. As it was, the sound provided such a distraction that nobody noticed the door creaking open and swinging shut.

Harry walked in silence through the castle gates, passing so close to the mass of Death Eaters his heart almost stopped for fright.

The only sound was his heart beating and the babies’ quick breaths, and the thud-thud-thud of the foot Cup was on.

The trees seemed even more foreboding than usual when he entered the forest, somehow knowing which direction to walk in to find Lord Voldemort. His heart was still jumping so fast he thought it might explode.

Lord Voldemort was in a clearing, with a few of his top Death Eaters. Harry recognized Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Fenrir Greyback, the werewolf.

“How… odd,” hissed Lord Voldemort. “I thought… I thought he would come. Perhaps I was mistaken.”

Harry tried to pull the invisibility cloak off, but his hands were too full of baby. He settled for hissing in Parseltongue. “You were not mistaken.”

“Harry Potter,” said Voldemort. “Come out.”

Harry shuffled around, trying to get the invisibility cloak to come off. He didn’t manage, but he did step on a twig, which cracked.

The sound echoed.

Lord Voldemort raised his wand, pointed it at Harry.

Harry swallowed.

Lord Voldemort opened his mouth.

Lord Voldemort spoke.

“Revelio!”

The invisibility cloak blew off, revealing Harry underneath. Voldemort looked taken aback to see the babies covering Harry. “Potter, I see you did not come alone,” he said.

Harry tried to speak, but Diadem was holding his mouth shut. He set Ring and Diary on the ground, then reached up to hold Diadem. WIth his mouth freed, he answered the Dark Lord.

“That’s your fault, actually. When I destroyed your horcru-”

“Silence!” Voldemort hissed. “My followers - leave us!”

“My Lord?” Bellatrix approached.

“Including you!” said Voldemort.

With echoing cracks of Apparation, the Death Eaters disappeared. 

“Continue,” said Voldemort curtly, once the last traces of Apparation smoke had dissipated.

“When I destroyed your Horcruxes, they appeared,” Harry finished.

Voldemort narrowed his eyes. “Do you know, Potter, what a Horcrux is?”

Harry nodded. Dumbledore had explained it before he died. “Bits of your soul,” he said.

“And do you know, Harry Potter, how many Horcruxes I have?”

“Six,” Harry said. “Six Horcruxes.”

Voldemort laughed. He actually laughed. It wasn’t an evil mua-ha-ha either, it was a genuine laugh. “I thought so too! But you have proven me wrong.”

Harry felt suddenly anxious. “I have?”

Voldemort smirked. “Indeed. Are you aware we are currently speaking Parseltongue?”

Harry felt rather stupid. “Er - no.”

Voldemort’s eyes, the same shade of red as the babies’, were glowing in something Harry could only describe as triumph. “There is only one way that could have happened.”

Harry frowned.

“You, Harry Potter, are-”

And then he realized. “Me? I’m a Horcrux? What?” he cried out.

“You can play at enemies, Harry,” said Voldemort, dropping Harry’s last name for the first time. “But you… you are not the wizarding world’s savior. You are mine.”

Harry swallowed. “I - but I destroyed your Horcruxes! Anyway that isn’t what I came for, these babies are driving me insane, there are six of them and that’s too many for me!”

“Oh, Harry,” said Voldemort. “You didn’t destroy my Horcruxes at all. You have given them life free of their prior containment.”

Voldemort stepped closer. Diary, who was on the ground, looked between Harry and the Dark Lord. “Mama!” he said, looking back at Harry. “Dada!” he said, looking at Voldemort.

Voldemort turned an inquisitive gaze on Diary. Harry found himself blushing. “They - they’ve been saying that first thing, um, to me, since they… since they arrived.”

Voldemort’s expression turned smug. His crimson eyes swept over every part of Harry. “An excellent turn of events indeed.”

“What?” Harry squeaked. “You - you’ll take them?”

“Yes,” said Voldemort.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. The babies were cute, and he would miss them, but they were too much work for him to do on his own - and Ron and Hermione, although they tried, weren’t the help he needed. “I’ll just give them to you and go then, if that not your enemy stuff you said was true.”

Voldemort chuckled. “Oh, no. You’re not leaving that easily. Didn’t you hear the child? ‘Mama, dada’? Surely you, of all people, wouldn’t leave a child without a parent.”

“That - that’s not - I’m not - it’s not-” Harry spluttered.

“You took my fragments and brought them life. You are their mother.”

“Wh - what?”

“You heard me,” said Voldemort. As if backing him up, Diary chimed in. “Mama!”

And then, as was the way, the other five. “Mama! Mama! Mama!”

Harry sighed. “Fine. But I’m only coming with you if you end the war.”

“I’ve won, then,” Voldemort said.

“And no killing muggles,” Harry said.

“I won’t kill many muggles,” Voldemort countered.

“Keep Hogwarts open. Let muggleborns come.”

“They can come. I’ll give them a choice. Now, you come with me.”

“Fine,” Harry agreed. 

Voldemort scooped up Diadem, Snake, and Locket, somehow managing to hold all three and still look vaguely like a Dark Lord, although his eyes were mistier than they had been before. “Hold my arm,” he told Harry, and then, as if he had only just noticed the babies Harry still had, “or - nevermind.”

Voldemort hooked his leg around Harry’s, his knee coming up - Harry would have squirmed, but that was when Voldemort Apparated.

Harry was blushing like an idiot, and not exactly sure why. Voldemort had - and he’d said - and it all felt very intimate and strange.

They were in a manor house, one Harry recognized from a few of his dreams. “Malfoy Manor?”

“Yes,” Voldemort confirmed. “You will have a room in the guest quarters where I am staying - you will be near me at all times, understand? Settle these children - don’t give me that look, I’ll help you - and then you will accompany me to declare victory.”

Harry found he did not object to this plan. He was tired of war. He’d never wanted to fight. He’d got Voldemort to agree not to hurt muggles and muggleborns, hadn’t he? And if Voldemort had meant what he’d said - and it’d seemed like it… well, Harry had always wanted a big family. 

Even if it was with the (strangely attractive) Dark Lord.


	2. Hoot

They teleported.

The Baby-Morts teleported. It wasn’t exactly Apparation - they just sort of… phased through all sorts of surfaces until they had reached their destination. He felt stupid for smuggling them out of Hogwarts the way he had. If only he’d known! He could just have left them there and they would have come to him!

But that was in the past. And presently, he had a more important problem: the angry Dark Lord who had discovered the teleporation fact waving a Baby-Mort in the air and frowning.

It was 2 AM, for Merlin’s sake!

Harry rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, tuning back into whatever Voldemort was saying. “-expect you to keep control of them!” the snake-faced man growled. “You brought them here and I will not have them disturbing me!”

Harry huffed. “Like I told you five minutes ago I didn’t make him go to you! You can’t blame me for that!”

Voldemort did not listen. “Suppose I had been on a raid, or disciplining one of my Death Eaters! It would have been killed!”

“I didn’t know it was doing it!”

“Well you should have! What were you doing that distracted you from doing the only job you have that is also the only thing keeping you alive in this manor!”

Harry would have laughed if he weren’t too tired. “Sleeping! It is two in the bloody morning! Go away!”

He lay back down and put a pillow over his eyes. There was a moment of silence, then -

Voldemort yanked the pillow from his face. “Sleeping? In the middle of the day?”

“Middle of the day? It is two! In! The! Morning! Leave me alone!”

Voldemort drew back. “You should have mentioned the time before.”

Harry grit his teeth. “I didn’t think I’d need to. It’s dark. Every clock says it is two in the morning. Everyone is asleep.”

Wordlessly, Voldemort held out the baby to Harry. “Well - see that it doesn’t happen again,” he said quickly before turning and leaving.

Harry dubiously accepted the baby. The child started to whine and cry. “Dada! Dada!”

“No, no, not Dada. I’m Harry and I want to go to sleep,” Harry told it. “Go to sleep.”

The baby didn’t stop crying. “Fine!” Harry said, exasperated, checking which one it was. Locket. He started to bounce him up and down. “Sleep, sleep, go to sleep now, you need to go to sleep. Go to sleep right now, I’m tired, go to sleep…”

Locket’s cries faded to whimpers and then murmurs. Harry brought him down, lay him next to himself in the bed. Merlin, children were hard work. However had Mrs Weasley manage it?

Mrs Weasley! She probably knew more about babies than Harry did. He resolved to write her in the morning and tell her about the situation.

True to his word, the first thing he did after waking up - well, second thing really, since when he woke up that morning he discovered all six babies crawling over him, and had to extract himself from being their playground - was pen a note to Mrs Weasley telling her all about the horcruxes and the babies and Voldemort and how handsome he was. Actually - Harry scribbled out the bit about the Dark Lord being handsome. That was weird. His face was all snakey. With red eyes in a shade that changed depending on his mood, and hints of scales on his face, glossy like polished crystal, and probably just as smooth to the touch...

Well.

He signed his name and folded up the letter before he realized his one problem: “I don’t have an owl!” he spoke aloud.

“Buh-buh!” replied Locket, who looked much more rested than Harry would have expected for a child who spent the night phasing through walls.

“Coo?” said Diary in an inquisitive tone.

“No owl,” Harry replied. “Um - owls go hoot.”

“Oot,” said Diary. “Oot, oot, oot, oot.”

“Oot.” Ring said. “Oot.”

“Oot.” Snake joined in. 

“Oot oot oot!” said Cup.

“Oot!” said Locket.

Diadem smiled a toothless smile. “Oot!”

Harry smiled back. “That’s right! Hoot! Owls go hoot.”

“Why yes, Potter, that is correct,” came a voice from behind him.

Harry whipped his head around. “Voldemort!”

The Dark Lord made a show of looking down at himself. “It seems I am he.”

“Well - actually I need an owl!”

“Really? I think you’re doing a fine job of teaching my ho - children the sound owls make.” drawled Voldemort.

Blood rushed to Harry’s cheeks. “Your children, are they? Then you may as well not wake me up in the night. And I need an owl to send a letter, not to - I mean, they were here! Of course I talked to them, I’m not weird like you.”

Voldemort’s lip peeled back, revealing canines too long to be entirely human. Fangs? Did Voldemort bite, Harry wondered? “Our children,” hissed the Dark Lord, slipping into Parseltongue. “I will procure an owl for you. Come.”

Harry tried to leave, but as soon as he and Voldemort were in the corridor they were summoned back to the bedroom by a cacophony of crying. The babies refused to be left alone. “I’ll take three, tops,” said Harry. “They aren’t just my responsibility. The least you can do is help carry them.”

“I’m letting you stay here, aren’t I,” said Voldemort, but he held two babies in one arm and one in the other as he led the way through the manor.

The owlery, like the rest of the manor house, was massive and over-the-top. Owls didn’t need marble pillars holding up their nests, but apparently the Malfoy owls had ornately carved ones anyway.

Harry passed his letter to one of the owls. It was a snowy owl, reminding him of his own Hedwig. He strained his eyes, trying to hold back tears. The loss of her still weighed on his heart with all the weight of the boulder which starts an avalanche.

The owl hooted softly, and he could almost have sworn she was familiar. Must be because of the species, he told himself.

Diary’s eyes lit up as he looked at the owl. “Oot, oot!” he called, and before long the other five had joined in. “Oot, oot, oot, oot!”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh. And when he looked at Voldemort, the man was smiling too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoot hoot! ~ivory


End file.
